❝ Laughing, crying, joy and anger - All are a vital. All makes us human. ❞
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Posted 14 Feb 2006 // 11:58 pm
ive spent almost to half an hour earlier on staring out of my bedroom window.thinking bout just everything.every single little thing in my life.reason?nah..i duno..jus been thinking alot recently. firstly..life as a whole.ive been rather busy with work n school.n sumtimes dance practice.barely even have time to really put my mind at ease.dats my routine.kinda bored abit having to face the same thing every single day.but the only thing dat makes me lively are the people around me.u guys noe whu u r.*smile* howeva,despite the company of my love ones.i still do feel deres an empty part in me.i wld lurve to have a special guy i cld call my own.been waiting,ya,still waiting till this very moment.ive met alot.. FINO-the very first guy i got to noe wen i admitted to dover.great guy.to judge him,u got to noe him well first.he's sum1 with a split personality.can be interesting,can be weird.he's loving.we're frens till dis very moment.his my 2nd bestie now.*smile* RENO-he wants things to go his way.forcing me to chill out with him at his hometown.i refuse.n refuse.n i gues.he gave up.n since den,he no longer acknowledge me.(go to hell boy!ure not any big shot anyway.who r u to force me when we just knew each other like hrs ago) SHAHRUL-a very sensitive guy.romantic.quiet.straight-forward.patient.we've been reli close frens.he had 'dat' feeling 4 me.but i told him,'dont wait 4 me,coz i nvr see us being together'..im sorry.i jus see us being not more den close frens. WAN -he lurves attention.we get along reli well.he nvr did say anitink to me before.we're still acknowledge each other now n then.but rarely contact like we used to.we're jus too busy with our life.i suppose.he kept his promises.n he already fulfill dem.to make me his very first passenger once he got his license..n he did.thx loads!~ ure a man of ure word..*winks* FAZLIE-an interesting man.sumone whom i cld lean on.pleasant to be with.but,he's very straight-forward.mayb im not use to the way he is yet.till one day,i kind of felt offended when he actually spit out smth to me bout my behaviour which i cant accept.to harsh a phrase for me.sad.yeah,i cried.i felt ashame over wat he said.but,cant blame him much.i noe he has gd intentions.thx.we're still frens till today.i made a promise to him..n im gona fulfill my promise one fine day..insyallah..=) FARID-gentleman.caring.observant.loving.romantic.concern.besides..he has everything dat a gurl wld dream of in a guy.but y not me?coz i noe i dun deserve such 'mr nice guy'..aniwae..i neva had any feeling 4 him bfore.i treat him equally like i treat my other frens.its bad to put hopes on others.im true to myself. YOYO-a rich man son.looks?hm..he resembles my ex bf.look at him,makes me think of dat beloved ex of mine.cool guy.gentleman.loving.met him once.things work out 'ok'.but den..we lost contact jus like dat.reason?im not too sure either. ISA-a cute and adorable guy.he got such nice pair eyes.u may feel like ure in his 'world' if u were to look straight into his eyes.its reli captivating.but,i dun easily 'fall into dat trap'..haha.he treat me real nice..swit..very 'manje'..but he too lied.(attached but says he's single.i simply hate liars.please stop it.had enuf of u bunch of ppl)today..he stil say 'hi',smile at me at tymes..jus being normal frens. AIM-i had a crush on him.his cute,cant deny dat.we've been exchanging glances n smiles for quite sumtime.till one fine day sum1 actually told me his into me.ouh ok.seems like a gd respond.so,we xchange no.got to noe each other better.soon later,i found out,every single thing dat comes out from u r jus plain lies!!(stop pretending to be single when u ald have a gurl whom u hav been with for more den 2 yrs+..pathetic!) MAN-a joker.treats me like..hm..sister?gurlfren?norm fren?i also duno..confuse by the way he acts..but..the fact is,he's attached.he did said he's attached but the way he treats me at times kind of go out of the way.weird!he's still a fren of mine till today. WAN(NALO)-got to noe him from Bestie.friendly chap.but,he's too 'rushing'.we jus became frens n his like..'i wana be with u'..how can..i dun believe in few meetings n going into r/s dat soon..its jus not me..ive been 'hit' once..n nvr again i wana repeat the same thing..im being careful here.he's outta my life now. YAN-he told me u wana noe me more.he wana noe me better.he sends me swit emails.ending with swit hugs n kisses,embracing me.i thot his true bout it.i said i dun mind us being frens.we c how things goes.nice chap.funny.but duno y..we kind of lose contact 4 sumtime.i gues things jus cant work out between us.im sorry. ALIF-a simple crush on a simple guy from school.exchange smiles n glances.didnt reli had conversations.only short ones.no longer see him as often now.my frens told me,saw him outside with a gurl.bet his attached.so..forget it lar dewi!u alwaes had a crush on the wrong person..jus my luck i gues..haiz.. NIZAM-i dun reli believe ur words.wants to get to noe me better?hope for smth from me?had a crush on me?like duh!!stop ur nonsense..cant take it no more.i can jus treat u not more den a fren.like it or not,up to u. A'AN(SHAHAR) -great3 conversations we had thru the fone.got to noe each other thru frens recommendations.den,met once.n dats the last time too.stop contacting since dat very day. WAWAN-jus got to noe each other.he dun seem reli interested in getting to noe me.gues he jus wana make norm frens.no prob my fren.*winks* HAPIS-ure the very first guy after my beloved ex bf left.but ure the very last man..i wld like to talk about.ure perfect my dear..very.but u seems confuse in ur own world.r u leaving me or ure staying?may i hava definite ans.so dat i can choose to stay or jus leave.leave at dis very moment.im tired of leaving in a 'world' full of questionmarks..im sick of hearing fake n lame promises.c'mon,be true 4 now.. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYONE! I STILL MISS U DEARLY i Wish: I still hope u will return 2 me.5yrs?10 yrs?i will still be here.waiting 4 u patiently.. |
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