❝ Laughing, crying, joy and anger - All are a vital. All makes us human. ❞
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which one? can i have both? NO i cant
Posted 14 Feb 2007 // 9:38 am
having the presence of someone who show you care, concern, and attention..wat more can i ask for. i noe between us there's no ties. but why do i feel not at ease each time i do something w/o your knowledge? y do i feel guilty doing things behind ur back. even by sms-ing someone else, i already feel bad. i wonder. on the other hand. i have this mixed up feeling. -another soul- someone i just knew. someone i barely even know. someone whom i never thought i would be close to. someone who was once just an acquaintance. confess to me.. building up the guts, slowly putting his thoughts into words(which was so hard for him to do so).. then finally, stand up to me, look into my eyes and.. tell me he would like to have me. "i wish for something from you, i know we just got to know each other. i'm not giving you any 'date due'..take your time to get to know me..its too fast if we were to jump into you know..*smile*...i hope you get wat i mean.." my heart beat faster. my lips kind of sealed. my mind was telling me.. "C'mon Dewi say smth!" my face was surprise but i force a smile. am i dreaming or was i facing reality?? i should say, in terms of appearance, he's fine. . . . . . ok. if u read my post properly. it concerns two person. one of which i know well but never did confess to me anything. another whom i barely even know yet but was keen to get to know me. im confuse. i wanna stop having too many guy frens all around me. i had enough of knowing all the different 'patterns'. i learned enough. i wana settle down to one, a gd man. who can take gd care of me. at the same time, work for what i dream for. keep my goals stay put. and working hard to achieve them. and having the 'him', i hope would make me even more stronger to face my future. my pillar of strength i sure call him. . . . tapi sape.. im just confuse between the two. i cant lie to myself. mum says, "at times in life, we have to be selfish for our own good." as i look out the window.. i heard soft whispers..... "for wateva your decision would be.. make sure that you will face ...it was just my mind telling me to think twice n be wise. *zakirah..if u were to read this. dis is what has been bugging me. im not in a gd mood lately.btw, one of the man is someone u know. |
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