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my tears gone dry
Posted 9 May 2007 // 5:30 am
Dear Diary..

for what seems like the greatest love seems to fade away..

its 4.26am, at the point i started typing this post.
i cant get myself to sleep. i feel so warm and uncomfortable.
i kept twisting and turn in bed. i cant figure out why.
or was it my mind which is not at ease.

lately..yes, work has been hectic for me.
i believe in myself that i choose the right path. but, towards success, for sure, individuals have to face ups n downs. that is what im facing now. im not saying that i will give up. but, im asking myself, am i still strong to withstand the pressure? the pressure that keeps adding up each day.

besides work, i dont know what makes me have doubts over the other party.
not that, trust has lessen but its just that the feeling of 'insecure' has taken over.
things just doesnt seem to be like before.
im not blaming him. well, everyones makes mistake; that includes myself.

he has been there all along.
motivating and giving me the support that i need.
'pushing' me to live my dreams.
he says he have the confident that i will make it.
im thankful.
i wont easily find another man who would say that to me. never.

but..
i no longer feel that he is there for me now.
at times when things really got out of hand, he wasnt there for me to turn to.
i dont feel his presence as close as before.
i know i cant expect him to be there for me 24/7.
he is a career man himself, he have other life commitments; i understand.
however nowadays, its never easy to even get to hear his voice each day.
even if i do, it will never last long.
and i am never sure bout his whereabouts anymore.
negative thoughts kept bugging me one after another.
still, i tried to think positive, he's prolly tired out from work n all.

i tried to keep myself busy as not to think of him but i failed.

life has to go on for me.
god, give me the strength. i plead..
i cant let my mind take control of my body.
i love him.

"my tears gone dry.."

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